Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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