I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Randomize
