i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
