end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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