He felt like a one man threesome
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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