no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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