SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
