she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
