Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
