what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Less talking, more tequila
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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