even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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