We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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