I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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