if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
