sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
