No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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