Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
