I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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