you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
