so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
