My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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