why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
