Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
