Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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