We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize