pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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