What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
