How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
