I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I could fuck to npr.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
