I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
