Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
