i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
