I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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