I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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