I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
