My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
