There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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