Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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