All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
