why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
