your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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