Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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