Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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