I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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