Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize