Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Redeem this text for a blowjob
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
