I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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