what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
