Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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