Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
