i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
