i think i have herpe
just one?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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