another moral hangover. fuck.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
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Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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