it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can't talk, ducks in the car
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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