The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize