Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
